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November 24th, 2009
12:55 pm - I should have put this behind a link but I don't know how.
This is my response to a poem in third year. I wish I still made responses like this. I wish I was still reading bp Nichol and, come to think of it, e.e. cummings. Some time off next year will make everything better.
A Startling Continental Trance
every time i read the poem Continental Trance i am overwhelmed with questions about the form the content the style the flow the meaning the order the language the world i understand that this was B P n I C H O L ’ s intention because his piece is filled with ajumbleof innovative conventions making the reading process complicated and intensifying Nichol looks at the Beauty of language ________ ________ He plays with the st ate of words and how this cor relates to reality ________ ________ thot is the real the essence the truth of word Nicol lays then plays His representation cuz words aren’t s3t in $t0n3 ________ ________ 1:37am I’m traveling on the looonngggroadroadroadroad to complet- where is end? ________ ________ BPn fits cat-into the-egory of Postmodernism he uses multiple voices in each of the poems to show the per-spectivesssss on l a n g u a g e and the uncertainty of… it? first voice? Descriptive second voice? Thought Third voice? Realization A LARGER THAN LIFE Philosophical STATEMENT Thevoicesallconnect ________ ________ NICHOL has epistemological ?s ‘things i have knowledge of but cannot account for’ he also tries and tries and to break and crack the structures holding the world together or is it it is or it’s hard to say really it’s hard to say if the structures are there if they do what they are said to do but to bre ak them is his quest and logically -he feels they cannot be broken down- but still he tries […]
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April 22nd, 2009
01:03 pm
I need to wake up and realize that this is the end.
I keep denying that all the friends I made in Ottawa will start to disappear in less than a week.
At least we won't be as close because of the distance this summer and by September they'll mostly be gone.
I like fresh starts but not this way.
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March 27th, 2009
04:00 pm - Queen's= Yay!
I'M APPROVED!!! I'm doing a thesis next year!!!!!! :);):)
(coughcoughcough, loser)
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March 15th, 2009
05:34 pm
This weekend I screwed myself over. I hate losing control like this.
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February 24th, 2009
06:34 pm
I applied to a bunch of schools for my MA in English Feb 1st. I was expecting a long wait to hear from them and wasn't even sure if I'd get in to one of them. The school I really wanted to go to (Western) has not sent anything back and that is a major disappointment but I know I should stop being anxious. The thing is I didn't think I'd get in to Queen's at all (and I'm not actually choosing the school and the reputation and all that but the program) anyway, I'm in. They called me on the 11th and told me I was one of their top applicants. They're giving me $12 000. I'm stunned. Also Carleton called and I'm in there but that was a safety net and I didn't expect to not get in. They are bribing me too-saying they will match any amount of money other schools offer. What is that? Is that incentive? I want a program that suits my specialty. Anyway it looks like I'll be going to Queen's. The program is great and I can do a thesis which is essential. It's just I wanted the choice... Before all this it was a 50-50 chance between the two because they are so comparable, but i really should take a punch in the face and stop this pity-hole I've dug for myself.
The other issue though is the offer is unconditional. Now all I've been doing is slacking. I just can't get myself together and buckle down. Now I just want to lie in bed and read and read for myself. All I've been doing is the mandatory work and I feel like with that phone call the semester ended. I'm meeting with Brenda, my old prof, tomorrow and I'm wondering if I can get away with it. I just don't trust that I am allowed to slack. That was what happened in high school right?
Annd that's it!
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December 3rd, 2008
06:31 pm
5 hours sleep in 2 days!
And I'm still going!
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November 5th, 2008
03:37 pm
For my Poetry of Witness class I'm writing on 3 poems written by Ariel Dorfman. He generally writes about the coup d'etat (and the after effects) that occurred in Chile during the 1970s. He worked for President Allende until Pinochet took over where he almost died. He escaped, well actually he was saved, because his voice as a poet was seen as essential to the Chilean people. He had the power to spread the message of what was actually happening in Chile during this time. He could tell the world about the torture and disappearances of over 80 000 people. So he was brought into exile in Argentina and then the US. This is one of the poems I'm not writing on (but I wish I could):
SUN STONE They put the prisoner against the wall. A soldier ties his hands. His fingers touch him�strong, gentle, saying goodbye. �Forgive me, compa�ero� says the voice in a whisper. The echo of his voice� and of� those fingers on his arm� fills his body with light� I tell you his body fills with light� and he almost does not hear�� the sound of the shots.
-Ariel Dorfman
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October 23rd, 2008
07:31 pm
I don't feel into school this year. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not overworking myself, but I seem to have some free time on my hands and it scares me. I have not been really stressed yet and I feel like I`m missing something. I told myself I would stay home this weekend and get work done, but in made plans Friday and Sat and Sun night. The actual issue here is that I don`t think going out is really going to matter on the honework scheme of things. Everything seems fine.
Reading the Twilight series because both my roommates were losing there shit reading them. Think Harry Potter for adults or more like late teenagers. Yes! Finished the first one (500 pages) in 8 hours and the second one (563 pages) in 7.5 h. Honestly they are great in a Jane Austin kind of way. I feel way too attached to the characters and Can`t Help SQUEALING when something bad is about to happen. The movie comes out on the 21st of Nov and I`ve gotta keep my shit together! (it`s much too far away)
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November 27th, 2006
09:26 pm
Guess who I saw today! Well you will never get it right so here goess.... RACHEL PALMER. wow. I was shocked. She goes to Carleton too. I know it's a SMALL world and I'm going to have to get over it but still..
It's hard to believe that Westmount people such as her would ever leave the 'hill and enter into my world. I'm a bit too possessive I know.
Anywayss, I'm at school right now because stupid people living in residence like to have their council meetings at 9 o clock. I mean, everyone there comes in flip flops and freaking pajamas and I'm wearing my full winter coat and scarf. Being so out of place it's embarassing. But I wouldn't have it any other way because seriously, I have an oven and they don't.
I want a kitty for next year. Like majorly. And I'm so excited because I'm going to get one :o) I was thinking of names today, I like Amoret (from Spencer's The Faerie Queen).
My brother and mother came to visit this weekend. It was the first time they have ever come to Ottawa and seeing my mum was nice. My brother successfully broke my headphones and complained most of the time. What did I expect though... Aparently for hannukah my dad is making my brother a skating ring in the backyard of the house. Talk about extreme giftage.
It's raining and all I want to do is go home.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/lethargic_a.gif) tired
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October 24th, 2006
03:24 am
essays are my friend. essays are my friend. essays are my friend.
oh please shoot me now.
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October 12th, 2006
09:31 am
I vowed yesterday to stop this. Stop feeling sad and sorry for myself, stop being lazy and tired and busy. It's really not worth losing my friends over and that's what I've done. The lack of contact is ridiculous and I'm making stupid excuses.
So I was home for thanksgiving and I just didn't make an effort to see any of you. Instead I saw his friends and his parents. It wasn't really a bad thing, I don't regret seeing those people, but I do definetely feel like shit for not seeing my own friends. I did the exact same thing this summer, except that really it was kind of unavoidable. The whole work thing and all.
I'm doing the same thing in Ottawa. All my talk about the tons of things that I'm doing and really my priorities are kind of backwards. It was made clear to me when someone told me that they usually plan get togethers around my scheduale. oh and when I say get togethers I mean stopping by my office in between classes.
God the guilt has most definetely set in. It's you guys who are going to last and stick around, not some silly job. What's the point of being in school so that you can get a job when you lose all your friends in the process? Honestly, what are you going to do on the weekends?
So it's time to make up for it. This weekend I am going to make a few phone calls to the people in residence and this winterbreak I am going to change things with the people in Toronto, if that's okay with everyone...
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October 4th, 2006
04:52 pm
Turns out that I'm in the complainer group on LJ. The ones who are always saying how tired they are and how stressed there life is all about etc. Well starting now things are going to change. I mean it. This isn't a whining habit.
So here it is: I finally bought new glasses. I'm happy.
That is all.
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September 28th, 2006
11:33 am
So when I'm at school I do alot of stuff. I think lists are exciting therefore here is one:
A) NUG external Coordinator
B) Senator (which is a much more exciting job than it looks...the president of the university is the head...and only 12 students can get in, the other 70 are faculty)
C) SIAC-PAM
D) Febuary 7th Coalition (we are marching to parliament and having a super big protest) BAHH TUITION FEES!
E) Prep Chef for the Red Apron ( a dinner club service- I am the first and only employee...my two bosses are awesome!)
F) Mentor (So my friend thought it would be funny to sign me up since aparently I am a leader...now a first year is going to be following me around all semester)
alright so what I was trying to get at is that I am stressing....
Considering getting another creature. Currently I have my hermit crabs and my bettas but I want to upgrade to a 10 gallon tank and that means the crabs are going to look very little. Frogs anyone? The only problem is feeding live creatures...I prefer using pellets...ideas?
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September 13th, 2006
10:27 am
So I was at school at 10am yesterday and got home at 9pm. Lets face it though, the reason I got home so late is because this new committe that I'm on and not due to the fact that I was doing readings. The committe is by far the coolest thing ever. The free shirts that we get say "F**K Tuition Fees" and that's just plain exciting. It's called Pac-Siac and the meetings are on Tuesdays at 7:45 at Roosters, please come. This tuesday though we're having something called Uprising, I could not help but think of Kensington and our bookstore, and we're going to have live art and speakers and bands...
I have this stupid scholarship essay to get done by Friday and all I seem to be accomplishing is complaining about how I don't want to do it. Bahhh.
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September 8th, 2006
02:44 pm
I have NAMES!!!!! The two crabs are Sherman and Nesbitt. My othodontist is named Dr. Sherman and my housemate's dentist is Dr. Nesbitt, random I know.
My fish (this means I now have two Bettas) is named Loomis ( if you're from Ottawa then you know that's the name of the art store). And my older one is named Be.
I love the name Crouton though...I am planning to get another betta...
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11:01 am
I'm getting my pets today!!!!!!!!! Yay for hermit crabs and fishies!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Anyone have an original name for the crabs that doesn't include Sabastian Bach?
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September 2nd, 2006
10:32 pm
I'm home. god it rocks, and the best bakery in ottawa is hiring someone part-time. Wish me luck.
I'm trying to write the scholarship essay for Atlas Shrugged, but really I am way too distracted to sit still. This is the third time I've gotten up typing this. Alright FOCUS.
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July 20th, 2006
12:52 am
I know this is a bit far in advance but that's how I get the chance to do things. okay scratch that. that's how I get the chance to do thing. THING. WITH NO 'S'.
alright excuse that.
But seriously, who want's to do something SATURDAY NIGHT??
oh yeah and EVY, I NEED TO SEE YOU. SINCE YOU SURVIVED ISREAL AND...immisss yoouuu. (along with EVERYBODY else)
NOW the really talk is about my wisdom teeth. On Monday I went back to the doctor and he said I had something called dry sockets. Basically I sucked out the scabs that had formed to cover my wounds and so I had 2 nerves exposed to the air. THAT WAS WHY I LOOKED HUGE AND WAS IN SOOO MUCH PAIN. It's nice to know I wasn;t imagining it. I'm feeling a lot better though, especially with 2 strips of gauze in my mouth that need to be changed everyday with a trip down to davisville and some heavy duty doctor machines. At least the teeth are gone, never to be an issue again.
good night.
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July 14th, 2006
06:03 pm
I'm not feeling like this is summer, more like the night before an exam where I'm running around like crazy trying to cram in knowledge that I should have had memorized weeks ago.I guess that's because I'm working harder now than I would at school. The sad thing is that all my friends happen to be situated around the block from me at this very moment and I am such a freaking workaholic that I haven't spent any time with them. So all I can say is...I'm really sorry. It's as though my cousin has switched places with me and he's the one going drinking, swimming in Goodman's pool and watching movies at silvercity. Maybe the word I'm thinking of is jealousy because it's definelty not my choice that I'm stuck in Pickering, Scarborough and Timothy's 24/7.
This week is the exception because since getting my wisdom teeth out I have been at home wearing the same PJ's for the past 5 days. I've been doing practically nothing besides sleeping and eating sherbert. TRUST ME, Sherbert sucks after 5 days. It looks as though McDonald's came to my house and injected me with fat. My face has swollen up to a pumpkin and I have to wonder if I'd be recognized on the street. Well the break is abotu to end. Tomorrow is Timothy's 7:30-3:30 and then I'm busing to Pickering to work the evening and night. Sunday is the exact same thing,unfortunately.
In a couple of weeks when I may infact get a spare moment I will make all those calls to have some fun outings. Currently the only date that I am looking forward to and have plans for, surprisingly enough, is the camping trip. At first I was kind of unsure if I'd enjoy myself since it seemed kind of centered on drinking instead of the more nature-ish kind of trip that I had in mind. And to be honest I have no idea what is going on with this trip so PLEASE let me make some sort of list before I drive myself crazy with worrying about all the things that have to get done!
Gilly, I loved seeing you on Monday and that iced drink was...good! I mean it, strawberries and bananas are awesome, as much as you think they taste like crap.
The move is set to take place in about two weeks and I can't believe it. My room still remains unpacked and I'm not sure when I'll be in the mood, if ever, to box all the nik naks that have accumulated in the past 17 years. I'll probably leave it to the day of, like what I did when having to go to Ottawa because I really have no desire to leave. Their are way too many memories here and I'm not ready to walk down a different hallway into someone elses kitchen.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/sore_a.gif) sore
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June 11th, 2006
10:37 pm
Exaustion seeps in slowly but all she can do is smile.
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